Skewers and Scarves Weblog

pointy sticks, fiber, pets, and sex

Golden Summer Tea Cake (Things I’m Not Knitting) July 4, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — wayoffiber @ 3:23 am
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I have a confession to make.  I haven’t picked up my knitting for weeks – possibly a month.  Nothing.  Not a stitch.  I did prepare some fiber (dyed mohair locks) and spin for all of an hour recently, and then nothing.  I’m a bit mystified as to why, but there is no lack of making going on.

Just today, I have made/will make:

One loaf of bread

Three pairs of dangly earrings

A jug of soymilk and a

Golden Perfume Summer Tea Cake

Wet phase:
– 1 cup whole milk (farmer’s market) yogurt
– 1/2 c turbinado sugar
– 1/2 c white sugar
– 1/2 c melted butter (or oil, but I only had extra virgin olive oil)
– 2 VERY LARGE farmer’s market eggs – or three more average eggs
– 1/4 tsp almond extract
– 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
– zest of one small (or large, or medium – mine was small) lemon, preferably organic

Ground fine:
– 2 small dried rosebuds (just the petals, please – no stem/leaves)
– 2-4 saffron threads

Dry phase:
– 1 1/2 c all purpose flour
– 1/2 cup whole spelt flour (nuttier flavor, less gluten)
– 1 Tbsp baking powder
– 1/4 tsp salt

How to:

Preheat oven to 360 degrees.

Mix yogurt, sugars, and melted butter. Add eggs one at a time, then extracts/zest, and ground aromatics (rose & saffron). Promptly forget that you were baking a cake and go do something else for a few minutes, giving the saffron and rose a chance to infuse. Don’t worry about the raw eggs; you’re baking them for almost an hour soon.

Cut parchment paper (or greased foil, if you don’t have parchment) to fit the bottom of a 10 in cake pan. Don’t use a smaller one – it practically oozed out the sides of my 10 inch. Grease and flour the sides, plop in the parchment. Set aside.

Mix dry ingredients in another bowl, with a fork or a whisk, or fingers if you’re really bored.

Add wet to dry and fold/stir in whatever manner you like to use to minimize stirring (and therefore minimize gluten development/toughness). Pour into prepared pan and bake for 50-60 minutes, or until golden brown on top and a toothpick, after being inserted, comes out clean. Or until it’s done, you know – bake enough cakes and it tends to be reasonably obvious. There is nothing tricky about this here cake. Trust me on this.

Cool on rack for five to fifteen minutes, then turn over on rack to cool a little longer – turn back over to plop on a plate, original crust side up, when you feel like it – the crust is apparently one of the lovely parts. Devour.

And then consider checking out the recipe’s inspiration, over at the marvelous Clothilde’s blog, Chocolate and Zucchini..

 

It really can be more fun to give than to receive. December 6, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — wayoffiber @ 4:30 am

This is B, in a hat I (finally) finished and sent him, of my own original yarn-combining (Malabrigo Worsted and Knitpicks Palette, if you must know) and design-composing um… design.

By sheer dumb luck with my measurements, it seems to meet his fits-in-pocket, covers-ear-tips-at-least and is-soft-and-warm qualifications, while not quite managing to clash terribly with his Mom-knitted scarf, whose warmth is so essential in numbing Salt Lake winters.

And, because he is a kind and generous soul, he even took time out of his math assignment grading to take pictures for me.

I am amused by his incredibly intent expression here…

And also by his inscrutable Lemony Snicket-ness here…

 

I’m not dead! August 21, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — poweroffluff @ 4:15 am
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I’ve just been entirely unmotivated in the crafting arena these past few months. Moving to Oakland really took it out of me, and deciding to go off my meds certainly couldn’t have helped.

I have been drifting a bit towards paper crafts though, and now have a little shelf dedicated to them above the foot of my bed. (that way, in an earthquake, it will come crashing down on my feet instead of my head, see?)

 

don’t inhale March 13, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — poweroffluff @ 5:16 am
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I need to obtain the pattern for this and knit it. NEED to.

Except I would make it black and hot pink.

 

Dishcloth Disorder March 11, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — wayoffiber @ 3:19 am

I have knitted 2.85 dishcloths/washcloths in approximately 24 hours. <lj-cut text=”Hello, my name is Skewers and I am a yarn addict.”> Clearly, I am suffering from some kind of knitter’s malaise. All of my current projects are too annoying Snicket Socks, with my naturally achiote-dyed Peruvian wool), incredibly ready to be frogged (Rivendell Cloche, at too tight a gauge with too-stiff Brown Sheep Lamb’s Pride), too knitpicky (H’s scarf — Halcyon, S’s cowl, Ice Queen, also from Knitty), too interminable (J’s baby blanket), or simply long-forgotten (that goddamned lace project Candle Flame Shawl which I should just frog and get it over with, but I’m not quite ready to give up and I hate the yarn anyway, so what’s the rush??).

Enter: the dishcloths and washcloth. Quick to knit, easy to make from whatever cotton dischloth yarn is handy in my stash (thanks to Scarves and one of our many trips to Michael’s), whatever needles I can find (since I compulsively lend them and lose them this way) in the range of 5-10 (this is a big range, for you non-knitting folk), they provide instant gratification.

I wish, at this point, that everyone would just let me stop everything else (mostly work) and knit them dishcloths. I feel virtually no interest in keeping them. Owning them, yes. But it’s through sheer force of will that I’m not giving the two finished ones away. And even the delightfully soft pima cotton pointelle washcloth I’m keeping is, in a sense, for someone else. There is some strange disconnect between how much I want to own a pile of knitted dishcloths (a lot), how much I want to knit them (a lot), how many I have knitted to give away (a lot) and how many I want to give away (all of them). Weird, no? And not in the least altruistic-feeling. The whole shenanigan has the texture of a compulsion, a thing I’m doing because it feels good and I can’t quite help myself. Also, if I finish up all of the cotton yarn in my stash, I can justify buying more. This is what passes for stash-logic, apparently.

I am at least not alone in this. For starters, there’s the gals at Mason Dixon Knitting, two ladies who somehow manage with this obsession all the time.

They do make me feel a little like an addict, though. It’s not that I should be doing other things (which I should) or that I already have upwards of five projects on the needles (it’s true), or that there are way more interesting things in my queue (also accurate), or that I really do appreciate and adore the people I’m knitting for (even though it’s nigh unto impossible to feel guilty about taking forever on a handknit, especially when lace and or beads are involved), or that there’s a baby on the way and I’d like to have their blanket ready (I would!). It’s more the way I pick up a fresh ball of dishcloth cotton and think “just one more row should take the edge off.” Edge? What edge?? Huh? The one I just cast off?

Or, as bedtime nears, picking up a simple project like the last bits of a washcloth “just to help me relax a little.” As if I don’t have a vibrator in bed for that very purpose! For serious, guys. Maybe this is a disease.

Anybody want a dishcloth?

 

white elephant March 1, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — poweroffluff @ 3:53 am
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I’m going to this tomorrow:

White Elephant Flea Market

Oakland is very much like DC, except a lot less depressing.

 

Knitted Jellyfish and Buddha Butt Plug Joy February 22, 2008

Scarves,

I found a whole bunch of knitted jellyfish online.

This one is the cutest, I think, found over at Emma’s blog, some cool knitterly lady studying classics in VA. Her jelly blog post is here.

He looks particularly menacingly crazy in this photo, though: , don’t you think?

This, the first hit I found for “knit jellyfish” on Google, is the most elegant of the bunch and includes a free pattern. The free pattern for this pink and black textural beauty of a jellyfish can be found at the Luscious Gracious’ clan’s crafty blog here.

What I really want to knit next is this, though. Take a gander at Bob.

. I know exactly who to make it for, too, only I think everyone will want one. What does that say about my friends??

And I got a shiny new toy in the mail today.

.

The Tantus Little Flirt Anal Plug. Doesn’t Buddha look cute with it? I lost my old one, which was also, apparently, the old version. It was a wee bit inclined to slip out — this one is supposed to be cured of that difficulty. I’m so excited to try it and see if this new design, with a narrower, rectangular base and a longer, more slender shaft, works for me. I feel silly needing the tiniest butt plug known to mankind when my cunt is so accomodating, but some things ought not be rushed. Anal tissue isn’t like vulvar or vaginal tissue; it is not as resilient, does not repair as quickly, and is simply not built to withstand much in terms of pressure or friction. All this, for me, boils down to a teensy weensy new plug, in a fetching shade of copper.

Buddha and the plug are getting more comfortable in this pic. I like to think of them as buddies. The pairing reminds me a lot of the lovely products over at Divine Interventions, home of the Baby Jesus Butt Plug. I leave you a lovely, pleasurably pink piece of heresy.

Go take a look: Divine Interventions.

Heretically yours,

Skewers